Selfie

Well, after a month it has become obvious that this blog is nothing more than my online diary.  And another way for me to talk to my BFF - myself!  It just means I can actually say what is truly on my mind.  Nobody will ignore me because they don't want to hear that I have had a bad day.  I do not have to pretend that my life I wonderful.  But I have some place to really vent and get my feeling out.

Today I took a selfie, which I have done before.  But 9 out of 10 times, they get deleted.  I do not like the way I look.  I am my worse critic.  This one however, turned out okay.  I even put it on Instagram.  I have been fighting depression lately, worse than normal.  I am to the point where I cry nearly every day.  Everything seems to be out of my control, I am having health issues and I just do not want to get out of bed most days.  And when I get home I try to go in the scrap room (which Tom has finally started working on again!) and I end up just sitting there.  I started packing more stuff up and getting it out of there.  The only thing I seem to be getting done - slowly - is going through and getting rid of things.  I am packing bags and boxes for Purple Heart.  Clothing, books.  I am getting rid of little knickknacks that used to mean so much to me.  I feel as if nothing means anything to me anymore.  Well the exception seems to be my dogs - some days.  But they let me know when they have spent too much time alone.  Another thing I cannot control.  Right now I am watching the clock...  praying 3:30 comes and I can go home, grab some wine and crawl under the covers until the alarm screams at me to get up and try to survive another day.